A parent-friendly guide to toilet training for autistic children

Many parents can find toilet training their neurodiverse child to be challenging. Here are some tips on how to know when your child is ready to start toilet training, how toilet training may be different for autistic children and how to best support your child through the toilet training process.

When should I start toilet training?

Below is a checklist of skills that can be good indicators that your child is ready for toilet training. It is not necessary for your child to have all of them; however if your child currently has none of the following, they may not be ready to start toilet training.

• Has the balance to sit on the toilet for 2-5 minutes. 

• Stays dry for at least 1.5-2 continuous hours at a time during the day. 

• Follows a few simple directions: “sit down” “come here.” 

• Demonstrates awareness of an impending urination or bowel movement. 

• Notices when their nappy is soiled. 

• Shows interest in others’ toileting.

• Imitates you in other everyday situations  

How to support your child 

• Bathroom modifications that may help your child:

  • Place a matt on the floor and/or add a cushion toddler seat to the toilet

  • Change light bulbs to dimmer/warmer bulbs 

  • Have child wear headphones in the bathroom if noise is overwhelming

  • Add items with their favourite character or animal (themed towels, matt, soap)

• One, small step at a time:

  • You want toileting to be a safe, relaxing activity. You do not want to be fighting your child to sit on the toilet! 

  • Break down steps until they are comfortable (If your child refuses to sit on the toilet, start by changing their nappy by the toilet or have them walk to the toilet). 

  • Reward your child for completing the step that is your goal. This could be a snack, a sticker, or a big hug and praise. 

• Reinforcement

  • Reward your child consistently for doing hard things. If your goal is for your child to sit on the toilet for 1 minute, give them a reward every time they do. If your goal is for your child to wipe independently, give them a reward every time they do. 

  • Keep reinforcement (snacks, toys) stored in the bathroom for quick access.

  • When using reinforcement it is important to give it straight after the behaviour happens.

• Develop a schedule/routine for toileting 

  • Identify times throughout the day when you get your child to sit on the toilet. Try to schedule these during natural transition times rather than interrupting an activity. If possible, schedule a sitting time every hour, but 5-6 times a day can work if needed. Consistency in this routine is important! 

  • Pick a specific cue to give your child before toilet time: a verbal phrase like “let’s go to the bathroom”, a picture card of a toilet, or a timer/alarm. Consistency with the cue will help your child get used to the new routine.

  • Your child could sit for just 5 seconds or they may manage up to 5 mins. Slowly build up their tolerance. Do not let your child sit on the toilet for longer than 5-10 minutes because we want them to know toileting should be a short activity.  

• Provide visual supports 

  • If your child has language delays, keep verbal instructions to a minimum! Use visuals to go through all the steps. A picture schedule of the entire toileting process might be helpful or just a few pictures for reminders of specific steps that are harder for your child. If necessary, gently guide your kid’s body, hand-over-hand, through a new step. 

Please feel free to contact us if you would like further support or information regarding toilet training.